Sci-Fi Character Model

Upon wracking my brain for ways I can update my blog more often, I concluded that it might be interesting to put up some of my work-in-progress screenshots. I've been modeling a futuristic sort of science-fiction character over the past few weeks and here's how far I've gotten so far. It's taken much much longer than I anticipated at first, partly because I've never modeled armor before, partly because of pesky classes, and partly because the technique I'm using is a time-consuming process. But I like the results, and I'm anxious to finish up. I'm waiting to do the face, hair, hand details till after I finish the armor, only because I feel like I've sculpted a lot of heads lately and I'd like to model an entire character. Anywho, feast your eyes on these screenshots:

I Don't Know What To Call This

I have descended into a pit of potential disaster, in more ways than one it seems.

How's that for an opener? It has a little bit of a hook to it, I think. More than a little vague...although far too generic and cliche I think as well. I can imagine you, the reader, breathing a sigh and thinking "Oh boy. Another melancholy entry about how difficult and unforgiving he thinks his life is when it's really quite a blessed and fortunate life."

Rest easy, this is a lighthearted entry and I am merely being sarcastic.

I recently found myself in possession of a copy of Modern Warfare 2 as well as a one month free subscription to Xbox Live gold. I figured...what the heck? Why not give it a try? It doesn't cost me anything more than what I've already spent on the game itself and the time to become acclimated to the competitive online community.

I've always, always, always been staunchly opposed to online video games in general (with the brief exceptions of Guild Wars and Phantasy Star Online); especially online competitive multiplayer. There are seriously some freaks out there when it comes to being obsessed with these games. Halo 2 comes to mind first when I think of these weirdos; These kids will play whatever game they're hooked on for hours and hours and hours and then, when I hop online for a quick game, I get completely flattened by some korean 12 year old video game prodigy swearing up and down about how lame everyone else in the game is. That's not fun for me. If there's one thing I can't stand, it's competition. I never really feel that competitive fire burn in me against anyone other than my brother, especially when I get my rear end handed to me. When I get beaten that badly in a game, I don't usually get mad. I don't often feel an overwhelming desire to beat this pipsqueak at his own game or rub his face in poo. I think, "This kid has no life and if he wants to be the king of this little virtual world, entirely insignificant in the real world, take it away man. I'm outta here." I'll check out and never play it again. For whatever reason, I've never found that hook in an online multiplayer game that makes me want to come back and kick that cocky kid's haunches.

So why do I keep coming back to Modern Warfare 2?

Well for starters, it's got a leveling system which is reminiscent of an RPG, something I am fond of. It's also ripe with unlockable content to discover as you level up and brimming with "Challenges" for each weapon - goals to accomplish with specific weapons for which you will be rewarded further. Plus (and this is probably the deal sealer for me) just because you play with players who are much more prestigious than yourself doesn't mean you're guaranteed an embarrassing defeat. Yeah, you'll probably lose, but it most often comes down to the choices you make before the combat starts. Which gun are you going to use? Throwing knife or grenade? Silencer or rocket launcher?

Anyway, that's how I feel. Maybe this game just happens to sing a tune pleasing to my ears, when others have been nothing but hollow noise. Maybe I've just been ignorant all these years - a stubborn ostrich with my head buried in the sand. Maybe these features have become standard and I'm just now discovering them. In any case, I think it's fun and I'll continue to play it while my free month's subscription plays out.

I don't know if anyone reading this is aware in the first place, but I entered a CG contest with a team of artists including my brother last month. We considered ourselves to be heavy favorites (we were biased though, of course) but we found out this past week that we did not win. We did not even place in the contest, frustratingly enough. Out of 3 teams that actually finished, we did not even garner a mention, honorable or dishonorable. What's perhaps even more infuriating for us, is that there was to be a runner up prize initially, however the powers that be decided to eliminate that prize due to "lack of entries, talent, or funds." So - either they cut the runner up prize because there were only 3 finishing teams, our stuff wasn't good enough for them, or the sponsors pulled out. We don't know which is the true reason, but to ponder it only makes me angrier. And not a passing, surface anger...a deep, resonating booming anger that makes me want to "lash out irrationally," as a wise young child actor once put it.

But on to smaller and less significant things.

Update

Hello!....no one

It's been almost 4 months since I posted the latest brain waste of an article. It seems to me that every time I post something on this blog, it is less about keeping friends updated on my current state of mind, and more about me feeling guilty for something that no one probably cares about in the first place. Which is fine, you know. There's nothing really to check on anyway, so what are you (the lost, confused reader) missing out on? Mmhmm...not a whole lot. But I digress...

Today is December 27, 2009 and I am sitting in the basement on my parent's futon in a royal blue Snuggie. It sounds like that would be a very comfortable position to find myself in, and it's true I am quite satisfied with this level of comfort. These past several weeks at school have been brutal. Classes from 5 am to 1 pm every day for 3 and a half weeks has shredded my sleeping schedule and internal clock. The previous three months included more convenient class times but much more difficult class content. In other words, the past four months at Full Sail have been the most difficult and demanding months of my education there so far. So...why is it that I feel much more optimistic and equipped after such a grueling set of classes? It makes perfect sense, really. I feel a little like...like we Full Sail students have been given our first glimpse of how demanding industry life can potentially be. It feels sort of like these classes are an anvil, and we have felt the first few hammer blows. I think for some people, these difficult times break them down entirely (which is not necessarily a bad thing). For those simply dabbling in CG work, these classes will show them they are in far over their head. But for other people, the difficult times make them stand taller, stronger, shine brighter and more confident. After all, if you can weather the most violent part of the storm, you can certainly survive the easier parts. I feel a little like the past four months are a kind of gateway. A threshold on the doorstep to the end of the Full Sail education, if you will. The picture playing in my head, (oddly enough) is from the trailer for "Return of the King" where the Nazgul Black Riders nose dive on the city of Minas Tirith and Hugo Weaving's voice rings clear saying "The end has come." It is here that myself and my fellow students find out what we are really made of, as artists and entertainers. I don't expect things to get easier. Far from it, as a matter of fact. Even after making it through the whole program, I expect the industry will be far less forgiving when it comes to mistakes and learning to adapt. Because, as difficult and demanding as school is, it is our "safe zone." It's okay to make mistakes in school, because we have teachers to guide us to the right way. In the industry, I'm assuming we're expected to already know the right way. And to be quick about it.

I just listened to the Glee cast cover of "Don't Stop Believing," and it is fantastic. I've never been much of a Journey fan, but that song seems to embody the very essence of the phrase "power ballad." Outstanding. If you haven't heard it (shame on you!) go and listen to it now. If you're into it, check out some of their other covers. They did a Queen song that was quite respectable also.

Thanks to my 24-hour layover in Wilmington, NC, I have rediscovered an appreciation for C.S. Lewis' writings. Mere Christianity is a fantastic read, whether you believe it or not. Lewis is an astounding thinker and presents his complicated concepts through the most crystal clear metaphors you can imagine. It has helped to reaffirm my faith and has worked in a way to refresh my spiritual health.

Also, Lost is my favorite drama/adventure/science fiction show ever. However, the episodes are most enjoyed when watched back to back. Waiting week to week for a new episode is a grueling experience, often resulting in me losing interest and forgetting vitally important story elements. But, if you haven't seen the show I urge you to get ahold of the dvds and make an afternoon of it. It's not for everyone, I've found out, but almost everyone.

Well, friend, I'm glad if you've made it this far into my brain waste and I appreciate your never ending patience with my ramblings. I apologize for the disorientation you are doubtless experiencing thanks to my jumping from topic to topic, but...I'm not sorry enough to go back and make it more cohesive. Good day, and God speed.

The Origins of American Culture

A thought just struck me today as I meandered my way across the ESPN homepage.

American culture is awfully similar in several ways to Ancient Grecian culture.

Think about it: how much pressure is put onto children at a young age to never settle for less than excellence? Or to never, ever, ever quit no matter how difficult the circumstances, nor the invincibility of your enemy or nor the impossibility of your situation? The primary arenas of competition that spring to mind are academics and athletics, but as an American matures and grows, the same can be said for nearly any area of life (but remain especially applicable to athletics, in particular).

I was reading a blog on...hmm, what was it...either ESPN or Sports Illustrated....no it was the New York Times. Some person at the Times wrote a blog about how the spread offense style of play in college football will never transition fully to the NFL because of one major reason: the spread offense leaves the quarterback particularly open to defensive attack. In the NFL, quarterbacks are arguably the most influential position on the team, as one person is nearly entirely responsible for driving the offense. In the NFL, quarterbacks are often the highest paid position as well. I'm talking tens of millions of dollars for one man, the right man, to lead that offense. And the spread offensive structure of college football leaves that multi-million dollar investment too open to danger for NFL teams to widely accept.

That's all very interesting, isn't it? Of course, the odds are that if you have a pair of ovaries somewhere inside your person, I lost you at "ESPN." But then again, the likelihood that anyone in possession of a pair of ovaries has come within 100 miles of this blog is remote at best, so I'll keep on going like you (my testicle-brandishing reader) are still interested in what I have to say.

The notion of paying one man upwards of $15 million dollars a season because of his ability to help a sports team win games (games that, in the grand scheme of life, mean less than the earth they are played upon) very loudly proclaims a few things about our culture:

1) Americans have a fascination with competition. We love watching two equally skilled, equally talented forces battle to see who will win. We love it so much, that we schedule our lives around watching these events. Some people love it so much, that they devote their lives to understanding it and participating in it. Some people will travel hundreds of miles, dress themselves up in elaborate colorful costumes and spend thousands of dollars to show support for their chosen competitor. Do you know who also had a fascination with competition? The ancient Greeks. They loved it so much that they created a series of competitions, games if you will, to showcase their physical and mental abilities. The biggest difference between the ancient olympic games and the modern games is that the athletes no longer compete in the nude (thankfully).

2) Americans have a fascination with being the best. The notion of settling, of compromising, of being content with less than the best (not your best, THE best) almost makes you feel like a coward or a traitor. And it's not just for love of the game (whatever the game may be) that people compete; you compete to win - to be better than anyone else; to be the focus of attention and to receive the glory due to the victor. Which person/team feels the worst after a competition? The one who came in second place. The one who had the "best" within their reach but lost it when it mattered most. The desire to claim the "best" is what drives people to compete in the game day after day, week after week, month after month and year after year.

American culture can trace its roots back to Ancient Greece in other ways too. Our form of government, while not a true democracy, prides itself on the foundations of democracy - the political system of ancient Athens. Ancient Athenians are also credited with birthing the modern notion of scientific thought. Athenians were the first to attempt to understand and explain the world as it naturally is. Athenians first delved into the ocean of philosophical understanding, of logic and sound thinking. All these qualities (while still premature and incorrect in some regards) are qualities highly valued and rigorously taught in American education systems.

American attitudes toward the military can, in some ways, find its roots in ancient Sparta. Soldiers were trained nearly all their lives for service in the Spartan army. The Spartan military was known for the high quality of each individual soldier, and much thought and care was invested in battle strategy. If ancient Greeks cared enough about athletic competition, where nothing but pride was at stake, how much more do you think military superiority was a concern, where lives, families, culture, land, food, and shelter were at stake? Again, we see how the importance of military might in America echoes the sentiments of Sparta.

One other very important aspect of Spartan society that is mirrored in American society is the social, economic and political equality of women. Women of Sparta could own land, participate in government activities and were considered on equal social standing with Spartan men. Women in America have (very loudly and sometimes obnoxiously I might add) succeeded in obtaining the same equality in society that Spartan women enjoyed in their time.

But what does all this mean? Surely I'm working towards a point after all this rambling.

You might think so. But like I said at the start of things, this was just a thought that crossed my mind while browsing the pages of ESPN.com.

Stream of Consciousness

Time seems to whisk by at an exponentially increasing rate doesn't it? Especially as one grows older, it feels like time slips away and there's no way to slow it down or get a grip on it. I'm not even very "old" speaking subjectively.

I don't suppose there is a point to this entry. I have just finished making the digital "rounds" (catching up on my close friends' latest personal blog entries) and feel the need to record a few sentences myself.

Life continues on for me, much as it has these past 7 months. I don't mean to make it seem like my experiences are dull or without excitement, though. Quite the opposite, in fact. Life barrels onward at a breakneck pace for me, and I sometimes wonder if I'll reach a breaking point before the end. It is often difficult to catch my proverbial breath in such a fast paced community, even when there are no classes to attend. Full Sail burdens its students with so much work, that even days "off" must be spent working on assignments, just to stay on pace. It is surreal, which may or may not be the right word I'm looking for, to go to bed every night asking myself, "What can I do to make my work better?" and to wake up the next morning thinking the same thing. It is not uncommon for me to finish my work on any given day only because it's time to sleep, then to awaken and continue where I left off the night before. In all honesty, I don't mean to complain about my workload because in most cases the extra pressure to excel comes from my own high standards. I won't settle unless my work is excellent, which means I must work very hard to make it excellent. Unlike other, more gifted artists, I don't exude beautiful art. I have to work extraordinarily hard to make my work appealing.

-pause-

I find my mind changes gears rapidly. I 'd rather start a new line of thought than continue on in the previous one.

My brother and I partook of communion this evening at church. I still have the plastic cup that held the grape juice in my pocket, where it has rested since church was dismissed. It was an odd service, I felt. The pastor used a visual aid to help communicate his sermon, an oversized, 6-foot tall Bible, with large paintings on several pages depicting a few select Bible stories from the old testament (David and Goliath, Moses parting the seas, Abraham sacrificing Isaac). I kept thinking, "I wonder how much it cost to have this oversized Bible prop made for the service," and "I wonder if they took into consideration the fact that this prop will probably never be used again," and finally, "I wonder if the congregation realizes that this is what their tithes are being used for - purchasing oversized visual aids that in all likelihood will be put into storage for several years before being tossed out with other oversized props that also haven't been used in years."

I never feel like I conclude my blogs with much grace or style. Most often, I simply stop writing and click "Publish Post" and let that be the end of it. In fact, I see no reason to stop that practice now.

By the way, I highly recommend the HBO miniseries "John Adams." Excellent stuff, it is.

Personal Project: Animation

A personal project in Toon Boom Studio 4. Been working on this for about a week in spare time; it took a total of about 6 or 7 hours of work. We didn't cover quadruped animation in any capacity in our 2D animation class, so I thought it would be prudent to tackle it on my own. I'm pretty happy with the final result, even though the timing could be better and some of the keys are a little wonky. But there's always room for improvement and if something sticks out to you (good or bad) please feel free to point it out.

Reminiscing, or the Difference Between my Liberty Experience and my Full Sail Experience

Well, friends, it's been a heck of a week. Two of my closest friends came to visit me in sunny Orlando and it was a week worthy of remembrance. We visited Cocoa beach not once, not twice, but three times and despite the inexplicable dearth of blue crab it was still an experience I will not forget. We purchased wonderful little frisbee disc thing for frivolities on the beach and lost the dang thing no less than 4 times before the ocean claimed it permanently. I watched Danny Latin beat inFAMOUS in it's entirety in less than 7 days for the supremely evil ending, grilled bratwurst and pineapple under a beautiful Florida sunset and logged an unprecedented 7 games of volleyball this week. Needless to say, I am exhausted but I would certainly do it again in a minute.

I suppose the point I'm getting around to is that I'm not sure how to wrap it up; but I do feel there needs to be a definite period, if you will, to close the sentence of this past week, especially because this week felt much like a vacation week for me, even though it was a work week just the same. Also, I noticed this week how different my life is when I'm around my close friends and when I'm on my own. For example, I eat till I'm full a lot more when I'm around close friends; I spend a lot more money, I play video games much more than usual, and I spent far less time on extracurricular school-related work when I'm around friends; I feel like the separation needs to be maintained and the only way for me to transition back to my "Full Sail" mindset is to put a definite close to the week.

I figured out earlier this week just how much my life and attitude have changed since my time at Liberty. At LU, academics was the background music for my real reason for being in college - fun with my friends (especially after I found my circle of like-minded individuals). I wanted to do well enough in school to get decent grades and graduate without having to repeat classes, but it was vitally important that academics never get in the way of a pleasant social experience. Given the choice of studying for a quiz or finishing up a set list in Guitar Hero 2, I would inevitably finish up the set list (and two or three more, in all likelihood). For me, the time spent on furthering education was strictly limited to the moment the professor spoke to the moment he dismissed the class. All time outside the classroom was designated for having fun; time meant for baseball games, pick-up basketball games, intramural volleyball, Guitar Hero, instant messaging, Xenosaga, trips to EB Games, Best Buy, Barnes & Noble, the dollar theater, etc. Of course, if there was a female in my life at any particular time, any and all other matters become secondary (including school work and all other friend-related activities). And you know what? After my Liberty experience was over and I didn't have my friends with me all the time any more, I was smashed in the face with the reality that I was a clueless mess.

I do wish to make it crystal clear that I believe I am where I am because of the decisions that I made and that I would not know the lessons I know now were it not for the decisions I made back then. I do not in any way regret my LU experiences, but I do wish I had learned lessons about how important education is before I wasted 4 years worth of money and time. But, on the other hand, because I was so much more focused on having close friends I have developed friendships that will no doubt last a lifetime. Before LU, I think it safe to assume I had no real friends beyond a few casual friends and simple acquaintances and also that I'll probably never again develop friendships closer than the ones I have with my college buddies from LU. I have had some of the most incredible times with them; times that I treasure dearly. Even now, with my drastically different attitude towards friends and work, I still love having a great time with these guys.

But great memories don't pay bills. Wonderful experiences don't mean much in the face of unemployment and debt.

I sometimes wonder how my life might have played out differently had I known back then what I know now, in terms of the importance of doing well in school and being determined to get a good job. The conclusion I come to is that I probably never would have gone to Liberty in the first place. It's not the best school to go to for any profession except pastoral leadership (and I've never wanted to be a pastor). But, if I'd never gone to Liberty I'd not have the friends I have now, so I'm glad I did go there. But I also wonder how happy I'd be in life if say I had stayed at Liberty and truly applied myself in school while maintaining close friendships. The unfortunate truth about life is that eventually friends do part ways (even the closest of friends) and you're left to progress on your own for a time. I know that even if I had graduated Summa Cum Laude from LU and had job opportunities springing out of the ground for my services, I don't think I'd be happy. I never felt much passion for any profession before I came to Full Sail and submerged myself in the entertainment industry.

Now, life is a little different. The tables have swung a full 180 degrees and my focus is squarely on academic excellence. I've made some new friends and we've had some good times, but for me, those good times never ever come at the expense of maintaining top-notch academics. I feel like I already have the closest friends I'll ever need and now my attention is freed to focus on career. I don't mean to suggest I'm against making friends, but I do mean that if a choice comes down to having fun or getting work done, I'll finish my work.

I feel like there are two distinct kinds of people in regards to career. There is the kind of person for whom the career they pursue is of little importance. These people work only as a means to fund their social/family life. It does not matter to them where they work or what sort of job it is, provided they can be around the people they love. Then there is the second kind of person for whom the career they pursue is of utmost importance. These people have found a profession they love, and it doesn't matter to them where they work or who they are around, provided they can do the work they love to do.

After the realization that even the closest friends cannot be with you forever but you'll always have to work, I feel that it is wisest to find a profession that you love and pursue it. I certainly don't expect everyone else to reach the same conclusion that I do, but for me, this outcome satisfies the most number of concerns. Especially when you consider how much easier it is to maintain long-distance friendships these days, thanks to social networking sites and cellular telephones, I feel that finding a career that you are passionate about is paramount. FIN.