On Being a White Christian Male I: Racism

The thought struck me this morning about how there has never been a worse time in the history of existence to be a white Christian male.  Christians, it seems, are viewed as a plague upon the earth, scourge of mankind's existence and quite possibly the root of every conflict/war/time of bloodshed that has ever visited the face of the earth.  White people too, it seems, are shown practically no preferential treatment among the various races of earth, in America at least (ironically enough).  The same goes for gender.  It seems to me that women of this country in particular are anxious not just to prove they can do anything men can do, but they can do everything better than men can do.  But this blog is mostly about race, so I'll try to stick to my topic.

I am familiar with a story; would you like to hear it? I am assuming you would, since you're here and since you can't actually talk back to me, but it goes like this:  I knew a girl once who graduated high school with a grade point average above 4.0.  Not an easy accomplishment and it would be safe to assume she worked as hard as a person can to achieve that goal.  In fact, you could say there is nothing more she could have done to better her gpa.  It was, after all, higher than perfect.  I also once knew a boy who graduated high school with a 3.4 gpa.  He was a good student, realizing the importance of good grades but still finding the time to have fun and make friends at school and not just bury his face in schoolbooks.   A 3.4 gpa is certainly an accomplishment to be proud of (higher than my own gpa at the end of high school), but unless my arithmetic fails me, a 3.4 falls lower on the scale than a 4.0.  Both of these proud graduates apply to various prestigious universities, but one particularly selective school they happen to find in common.  Selective schools, we all know, only accept the most qualified applicants.  Most qualified applicants...let's review those gpa scores one more time to refresh our memories.  Girl = above 4.0; Guy = 3.4.  So, the most qualified applicant should be the girl.  But curiously enough, the girl does not receive acceptance.  Now, this fact alone is no reason to expect foul play.  Perhaps the school is already overflowing with 4.o students and there simply is no room for more.  What can a person do about that, right? Nothing.  But wait!  The young man, the 3.4 student receives acceptance to the university!  Now there seems to be something fishy about.  How could a 3.4 student win out over an above 4.0 student?  Let's step back and examine the applicants one more time.  We have our female student, hard working, exceptionally smart and...caucasian (in other words, strike 3 you're out). We have our male student, hard working (but never working too hard), acceptably smart (but not uncommonly so) and...mulatto, which is to say, one parent of caucasian descent and one parent of african descent.  Why do you think the young man (less qualified) was chosen over the young woman (more qualified)?

Just a little footnote here: ahem, Webster's online dictionary defines racism: the belief that race is the primary determinate of human traits and capacities and that racial differences produce an inherent superiority of a particular race.

Another thing that, to me, reveals America's preferential treatment of races other than caucasian is how much bickering and belly-aching non-white races can get away with and no one says anything.  Think about it:  several months ago, the african american sports community (specifically the NCAA football community) was up in arms over the fact that there are only a handful of black coaches in division 1 football.  That fact alone says to me that these people don't care about good coaches, they don't care about results, they don't care about finding the right coach for the job, they care about the color of the man's skin (or as we'll surely get to in time, the woman's skin).  More specifically, they want to see fewer coaches with white skin and more coaches with dark skin.  Not more wins, not more football players graduating, not more prestigious recruits...more dark skin.  This, ladies and gentlemen is racism. It tells me that racism is an issue that is far from settled and in fact, has swung a full 180 degrees in the opposite direction.  Think about how many african american awareness groups, clubs, and activist organizations there are.  My God, we even have an entire month set aside to celebrate the achievements of certain men and women for no other reason other than the fact that they have black skin.   We should celebrate these people and their achievements for what they contributed to society, not because they have ancestors hailing from the african continent.  What if I created a club or an organization whose sole purpose it was to promote white people and their accomplishments?  I would be decried as a racist, a closed-minded fool and an enemy of "tolerance."  But I can't count the number of african american organizations there are whose purposes are similar in nature, and nobody can say a foul word about it.  There is even a television channel entirely devoted to Black Entertainment.  How ridiculous is it that there is an exclusively black tv channel?  I mean, the notion that there is a particular brand of entertainment that's only directed towards black people? Really?? No wonder American culture is so shallow, when there are such silly dividers among the country's citizens. What it does is make the rest of the population feel like black people have a "culture" and history all to themselves here in America and they want no one else to be in on it. It's sad, because it proves that racism is still around, only now it's directed the opposite way.

Let's look at another indication that race is still an unsettled issue in America:  The coronation of Barack Obama as the savior and king of the USA.  The celebration of his election to the office of president was certainly a more grand, lavish celebration than we usually see in newly elected presidents.  Why is this? Because he's black.  He's got dark skin, that's why.  It's not because of his credentials; it's not because of his foreign policies; it's not because of his ideas about health care reform; it's not because of his silver tongue; It's because his skin is dark.  And while we're on that, it must be said that he is just as much a white man as he is a black man.  I think it is preposterous to celebrate him as black man (exclusively) because he is every bit as caucasian as he is african.  But I think the people of America are so blinded by the fact that he is of partial African descent, that they don't even care about what he does in office.  I remember surveys being taken before election, specifically in the Harlem neighborhood of New York I believe, asking if these voters approved of Obama's choice of running mate in Sarah Palin, and of his intent to continue the war in Iraq.  These voters supported Obama 100%, proving their ignorance and apparent preference for an african american over a caucasian.  Of course, not all supporters of Obama support him just because he is black (although it certainly does help, I'm sure), but I think enough of them do to draw conclusions about America's infatuation with him.  If you look at polls conducted about Obama's conduct in office thus far, they are overwhelmingly positive.  The man has had just enough time to say some kind words, spend more money, travel the world, touch the Queen of England, and bow to a foreign power.  He's hardly even had a chance to make an impact, so how can people pass judgement on his conduct so far?  Because he's black, and a black man can do no wrong (at least, that's what I think America thinks). 

...to be continued.

A Note about my Note

I would like to point out that while I have trouble seeing myself married, I do not wish to portray marriage itself in a completely negative light.  For many men, being with that one special girl becomes their passion in life and to give up other goals becomes an easy decision.  It doesn't matter to them where they work, where they live, what else is happening in the world, what kind of opportunities present themselves...as long as he is with his girl, everything else is footnotes and he will gladly give up a better job, better pay, better anything if it gets in the way of being with her.  I respect that kind of devotion, but I do believe it is rare.  And that kind of passion is a potential set-up for incredible suffering and hardship, if the woman does not share an equal level of devotion to him.  I do believe marriage can work, but I think far too many people rush into it these days and they get bored with it after a year or two.  They realize this person they married isn't a prince or princess.  He/She acts like he/she would rather spend time with his/her friends than with me.  He/she hasn't asked me out on a date since I can't remember when.  She/he doesn't clean when I ask them too.  He/she ignores me when they get home from work.  He/she constantly bugs me after a long day at work.  These little things are worked through and sorted out if the marriage is functioning properly (which is to say, if each person is entirely devoted to the other).  The little things become monstrous problems if there is even a breath of selfish interest.  I think marriage won't work for me at this time in life because I know I couldn't give myself entirely for another person.  I don't want to give up my dreams for another person.  I want to focus on my life, my way. And I don't think there's anything in the world wrong with that. 

Marriage

I thought tonight would be an appropriate night to express a few thoughts on the subject of marriage, in part because I've thought alot about it and in part because my brother just got engaged tonight.  The knowledge that he and his fiancee (definitely weird for me to think of her like that now) have pledged to one day pledge to spend their lives together forever inevitably has me thinking about things.  How exactly did my younger brother find a bride-to-be before myself (seeing as I have had three years more than he to find a suitable woman)? Is it my fault that I am no closer to marriage than the east is to the west? Will I ever find the right woman?  If I could go back and do things over again, how would I do them differently? Would I do them differently? Needless to say, it's been interesting to ponder these things. 

Indeed I find it difficult to begin.  I suppose a rapid fire answer session could work, so here goes (in the order above) 1) Younger brothers are always found more attractive to the opposite sex.  Period. 2) It is just as much my fault that I'm not married as it is the fault of my past girlfriends. 3) There is no "right" woman. 4) You can't go back and do things differently, so there's no point in pondering the matter. 5) No. 

It worked! 

Seriously, though, the thought of my family welcoming in a daughter in law/sister in law has made me wonder how life would be like if it had worked out with past girlfriends.  I came to the conclusion that life would be quite different and I do believe I would be a good deal less content with life than I am now.  In fact, the only potential scenarios that I found potentially pleasing were ones that involved marrying my very first crush or my second crush.  I still think of both girls as astonishingly beautiful, but only my first crush has turned out to be the kind of girl any man would want to marry.   I'm not sure what it is, and maybe it's only me, but I think there's something...different about a person's first crush.  They stick with you, like a lighting bolt hidden in the back of your mind only to burst out unexpectedly one day to the forefront.  As you grow older, (or at least as I grow older) the opposite sex seems to be much less mysterious, magical and enchanting.  When I was in 5th grade, I thought this girl was an angel. She was a goddess among livestock. I counted it a blessing simply to see her smile.   But then I got older.  And all that fluff seems silly to me now.  So silly that I don't really think of any girl as being special or unique.  The magical little spark has been extinguished I think.  Except for that first girl...I still feel a little of that childhood romantic magic when I see those eyes.  Of course, she married several years ago and even if she wasn't married I wouldn't pursue it. 

Generally when I think of marriage, I think of sacrifice.  I think of how the man is "supposed" to give himself up for the woman and more or less give her anything and everything she desires (emotional, spiritual and material).  That disgusts me.  I think that is foolish and I want no part of it.  But when I think about that first girl...it doesn't bother me.  As much.  Which brought me to why I don't think marriage works.  Or rather, why it is so hard to make marriage work.

I think marriage works best when there is a complete sacrificing of self for the other person.  The man gives of himself 100% for the woman and she gives 100% of herself for him.  Of course, it is part of the marriage ceremony, among other things, that the couple make such a pledge to one another publicly.  I think the problem arises when people think that the decision needs to be made one time and one time only.  That once the ceremony is over, the decision to sacrifice yourself doesn't need to be made anymore.  Wrong.  Marriage only works when each person daily, hourly, even by the minute, makes the decision to give up their rights, desires, dreams, etc.  This system only works if both parties give totally and equally.  As soon as one person stands up for their rights, the system fails.  That's why I see married life as such a torturous thing.  It is constant denial of self.  And not a grumbling, complaining denial of self.  The willful, contented denial of self.  

The reason I find myself thinking less and less that marriage is part of my future is that I can hardly fathom another person for whom I am willing to give up everything.  My passions, my future, my goals are far more important to me at this point in time than relationship bliss.  Perhaps one day I will find a person who ignites that dormant spark, but I am not looking which makes it all the more difficult to find. The idea of not being married used to petrify me to the point of panic but now, I think more and more that unmarried life is freedom.  Freedom to pursue my dreams and goals; freedom to be my own person, to make decisions for myself.  I feel that my future is open and unhindered by not chaining myself to another person in marriage.  

But these are only ramblings.